Those DAMNED illegals are EVERYWHERE!

This blog actually started as a comment on a yahoo.com article (link is here: http://tinyurl.com/62t88y8)
It just got so long that I couldn't fit it all in the comment section. But here it is, for anyone that wants to read my thoughts on the subject. 

The problem here is that the law is open to interpretation. That's how the laws are applied. Personally, I have no problem with the illegals being kicked out, not given a free education, etc. Just because you were born here, doesn't mean that you don't get kicked out with your illegal parents!! I am a 4th generation German-American. my great-grandparents came over here from Germany, with a sponsor, they learned English, learned American History (what history there was at the time), and they passed the test to become an American Citizen. I don't mind if people come here from other countries; the U.S. is the 'melting pot' of the world. What I have a problem with is these low-life illegals coming here, taking the money that I put into Social Security and other programs, while they decide that they are 'too good' to learn English and want everything else to be translated into Spanish for them. Have any of you been to the DMV lately? Or even to the grocery store, gas station, or called a Customer Service number? THIS IS AMERICA! WHERE THE HELL DOES IT SAY THAT I HAVE TO PRESS 'ONE' FOR ENGLISH?!

It's just like high school or college - If you don't belong in the class, you get kicked out, whether the reason be you failed a prerequisite class, you didn't pay, or you are just too stupid to follow the information. That applies to illegals too. I'm sick and tired of, every stinking time I turn on the news or the radio, there is yet ANOTHER report of some bastard illegal getting into a horrible car accident with no license and no insurance, or driving drunk and killing someone, or robbing a store/bank, and what happens? They go to trial, at taxpayers expense. They are held in jail, at taxpayers expense. They serve their time, at taxpayers expense. When their sentence is over, they are deported, at taxpayers expense. But what stops them from coming right back over the border illegally again? Oh yea, that's right. Not a Damn THING! They get a free ride in the U.S., get sent back to Mexico, and in a few weeks or months, they are right back here. If Americans weren't so "holier-than-thou" and would actually work the jobs that illegals do, we wouldn't have this problem. Of course, employers LOVE having illegals, because they don't have to pay payroll tax, they don't have to pay insurance, and if someone goofs off, they can fire that one and there are 2,000,000 waiting in line to take their place.

There was talk in my area that the illegals wanted the state to allow them to have driver's licenses, but because they couldn't provide a Social Security card and a U.S. birth certificate, they aren't able to get a license. Well, here's an idea to fix that - Set aside every Saturday for 6 months at the DMV where no one will be helped, except illegals that want to get a driver's license. When they go outside for the driver's test, have the U.S. Marshals and ICE waiting out back, with a bunch of semi trailers and truck drivers. Stuff the illegals into the back of the trucks (they should be used to it, that's how they arrived in the U.S. anyway) and ship their asses out to the Nevada Desert. Don't take them back to Mexico, or we will just have to round them up again. Take them to Nevada and have the military bases out there practice their target shooting. Hey, even once a month, have a gun club rent out the military firing range and let the gun club take care of the illegals! That's even better than having the military do it. The military has enough to do already; let someone else take care of it. Hell, gun clubs are used to hitting useless targets, so shooting the illegals won't take much work. Take it up a notch, and have the illegals try to escape from the firing squad. That would make it even MORE fun! This is America and, according to the rest of the world, we are a bunch of lazy, over-fed and under-worked, boring people. Well, we will cease to be those things if we have a little target practice with the illegals! You can even let the kids get in on it; just give them a paint-ball gun. The adults, or those with actual, legal guns and a license to carry, can take care of the paint-covered Spics after the kids get bored and leave to do something else. (And the kids will leave, they always do when something no longer holds their attention)

Anyway, now that you have read my blog about illegals Spics (when I say Spics, I don't mean just Mexicans. I mean every single solitary waste of space that has entered the U.S. illegally), I guess it is time for you to find something else to do! I can't keep your attention here indefinitely! Nor do I want your attention here indefinitely. So read what you want, and move the hell on! (Oh, and I mean that in the best possible way) :-)

I have no idea how I'm going to get through the next 18 months. Just in the last two months, I've gotten so damn bored with everything. It's the same shit every day, all day. I absolutely HATE taking care of his grandmother, knowing that I have no where else to do, I can't force his mother to take his grandmother, because I know he would never forgive me if I did, even though he tries to tell me different. This was all dumped on my lap, his grandmother and everything else, and I don't like it. But I have no option, other than moving in with my sister in Janesville, and I really don't want to do that, simply because she is 2 weeks married and has 4 kids. Not a lot of room for me. I don't really feel like riding the couch and feeling like a live-in babysitter. I know my sister wouldn't treat me like that on purpose, but I know both she and her now-husband are busy and taking care of 4 kids is a hand full. I love my sister, but I honestly don't know how she does it. 


And I try to talk to people - my dad, my grandma, even my sister - about things, and all they tell me is "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" (grandma), "You are doing a great thing, taking all of this on. You are a great girl with a level head on your shoulders. You can do this. Just depend on yourself and your strengths and you will be fine" (Dad), "Why don't you drop off grandma off at his mom's and move in with us>" (my sister). I guess what I'm looking for is a shoulder to cry on, so to speak, someone that will listen to me and not try to fix things or tell me what they would do in my position. I guess my only option is to swallow my complaints and go about my business. It's hard, because sometimes I feel like things are going to over-whelm me and I'll just crack and go crazy. Writing things down doesn't help, because I just get more upset, due to re-living the things that had upset me. 


I guess I just have to put on my big girl panties and deal with it. I didn't ask for this, but I have no other option. Sadly, I don't think I will be with him after he gets out. I just can't deal with it anymore. I had promised that I would stay until he gets out, to be able to take care of his grandma, but after he gets out, I doubt that I'll be around much longer. I just need to find a job and save money (hard thing to do when I'm trying to take care of everything else here that takes money) and find my own place. Hopefully, I'll be able to move back to Waukesha and be by my friends and familiar places and have my own place and have my daughter back. 


I haven't really felt love towards him in a long time. But I can't tell him that, not while he's in jail. I'm only here out of convenience, not love or lust or even friendship. 

So .... I found out over the weekend that my ex, my daughter's father, is expecting a baby with his girlfriend. She is due Sept. 27, THREE DAYS before my 26th birthday. A guy that can't pay proper attention to his 8 year old daughter when she is with him, can't get up in the morning to make sure she gets to school safely, and wants to prove to the courts that I am a bad mother, is going to have another baby. And it bugs the hell out of me.

It's not that I want to be with him, or have another child with him, or anything. I just hate how things seem to be going along just fine for everyone else, but not for me. He seems so happy and to be honest, I'm jealous as hell that they are having a baby. I want another baby, but the man I'm with has so many kids already, and has already said multiple times that he doesn't really want more kids, but will have more with me just because I want more. I don't want to force him to be a father again, when he has pretty clearly told me that he has enough kids already. But I can't ignore the fact that I want more kids. And I don't know if I can be with him. I have already decided that I will not marry him while his grandma is living with us, because it is just too much for me. I just can't imagine trying to plan a wedding while she's still alive. Call me self-centered, bitchy, mean, whatever ... I just will not marry him while she's alive. Unless she is NOT living with us anymore. 

I can't stand to have her here now, I can't imagine trying to live a married life and everything else that goes along with it while she is here. I know it's not much different in terms of living and taking care of things, but I just can't stand the idea of having her here while we are married. She is too important to him for me to play second fiddle to her for the next however-many years she'll still be alive. I don't even know if I can marry him. There are too many issues between us that haven't been resolved, and probably won't be resolved, because every time I try to talk to him about things, he gets defensive and tells me it is all my fault that we don't get along. It is honestly like I'm just supposed to do whatever he wants me to do, say whatever he wants me to say, and wear whatever he wants me to wear, just to make him happy, while I stay miserable and contemplate leaving him. Which I do on a daily basis, by the way. The only reason I haven't left yet is because I just don't have a job and the money to pay for my own place. My sister says I can move in with her and her fiancée and their 4 kids, but, as much as I love my sister and her family, I just can't imagine being myself and finding my way in life by living with them and riding the couch. 

I want to win the lottery and move out, get my own place and decorate it, do my own thing, and not have to worry about anything with him anymore. Maybe I can talk to my dad and convince him to let me take over his house when he moves, instead of leaving it to go into foreclosure. I need to get a job to be able to pay the cable, phone, internet, and other bills, but other than that, Dad would be sending me the payment for the mortgage. I think. I just want to get back to Waukesha and my friends. I feel like I'm suffocating here, because there are so many things that are unresolved. He's trying to change everything about me, and I just want someone that will accept me for me and not try to mold me into some kind of make-up every day, knee-high boots with pants tucked in, skin tight shirts with tits hanging out absurdly, looking like a whore that just walked out of the whore house, woman. It's like I can't be myself anymore. He wants me to be who he thinks I should be, but that's not me. I was raised to be myself and not worry about what others think about me, yet he wants me to start worrying about what he thinks 'because he has to be seen with me when we go somewhere'. Well, I don't really care. I can't dress up and look 'sexy' (as he calls it) when I feel like I'm just there to be his little sex slave, wearing whatever he wants me to wear, not being able to have an opinion, because if I voice my opinion or my thoughts, I get into trouble. 

It is so frustrating, to have someone not listen to you, have someone talk over you whenever you try to tell them what you are thinking and feeling, have someone tell you things that you have no reason to feel that way, that they don't understand why you feel that way, because no one in the world would look at things the same way you do.